Monday, January 26, 2009

The time has

come for me to return to work. The day I have dreaded for so long... the day that I thought if I prayed hard enough would never come...the day that is like a bad dream...is not a dream anymore and is here. I am sick, I am sad, I am scared, I am aching inside, and althought I could focus on the positive and find some good in this sitution.

I can't... I physically can't...where is the postitive in that fact that we can't spend our days together and both want too...where is the positive in that fact that she is going to miss me dearly...and I am going to miss her so much it hurts every single second of every day...People tell me I will get used to it...I think that is wonderful that some people can get used to it I wish I were one of the people but I am just not...

I can't see that silver lining becuase I can't imgaine a day that I will get in my car tear free and say I am ok with this...my heart hurts badly. I have literally spend every seccond of everyday with her since last October. She is always with me... I am never alone... she is my best friend. She completes me and without her parting of me is missing.

Is all I can do is pray for strenght and hold a picture of her close to my heart while I am at work.

4 comments:

Rayna said...

I am sending you strength. You will be ok...and will deal with it the way you can and want too and that's all that matters. You're an amazing mother, and Skye knows you love her to the moon and beyond!

Samantha said...

I hate that you are so sad and that you have to be away from that beautiful baby of yours. Just know I am here for you!! I will keep playing the lottery for us!

jennygirl said...

Was thinking of you a lot today...sending you good thoughts and lots of strength to get through this period of adjustment.

I know you are hurting, though, and I am sorry. :(

sabrina said...

oh... :( i hope it gets better (or less worse) with time, stephie...
at least you'll get to come home to a huge smile on her face when she sees you!
we miss little skye so much!
xoxo